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North Korea's Kim wants fast denuclearisation, South's leader says

BBC News - 4 hours 54 min ago
North Korea's leader also wants a second summit with Donald Trump soon, the South's president says.
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Wetherspoon, McDonald's and TGI Fridays workers to strike

BBC News - 5 hours 17 min ago
Workers at some of the chains' outlets are planning a co-ordinated day of action on 4 October over pay.
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Your pictures: My favourite room

BBC News - 5 hours 21 min ago
Each week, we publish a gallery of readers' pictures on a set theme. This week it is "my favourite room".
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Unhappy travellers: Passengers react to 'badly treated' report

BBC News - 5 hours 49 min ago
BBC News spoke to people affected by rail disruption in recent months.
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FA Cup: Ex-Everton midfielder George Green on self-destruction and depression

BBC News - 6 hours 4 min ago
He was once compared to Wayne Rooney before a cocaine addiction saw George Green go from a £110,000-a-year midfielder to £80-a-game at Ossett Albion.
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Pan Pacific Open: Johanna Konta knocked out by Donna Vekic

BBC News - 6 hours 24 min ago
British number one Johanna Konta loses in straight sets to Croatia's Donna Vekic in the Pan Pacific Open last-16.
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A 7-year-old girl is in critical

CNN World News - 6 hours 33 min ago
A 7-year-old girl is in critical condition at a New Delhi hospital after undergoing surgery for injuries she suffered while being raped with a metal water pipe. According to authorities, a 21 year old has been arrested in connection with the assault.
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The relationship between North Korean

CNN World News - 6 hours 33 min ago
The relationship between North Korean leader Kim Jong Un and South Korean President Moon Jae-in has shifted after the two signed a peace agreement. CNN's Will Ripley reports on if the relationship will last.
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Sky bid tussle to be settled by auction

BBC News - 6 hours 35 min ago
The broadcaster has been subject to rival bids from Rupert Murdoch's Fox and US giant Comcast.
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Maine restaurant sedates lobsters with marijuana

BBC News - 6 hours 39 min ago
A lobster restaurant in Maine says the process is more humane as it lessens their pain before death.
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I'm a child Stuck in an Adult's Body

World News Reddit - 6 hours 42 min ago

I’m a child stuck in an Adult’s body

I was recently watching a video on YouTube about one of the characteristics of a narcissist. In the video, the YouTube talked about how narcissist in romantic relationships are incapable to fulfilling their spouses needs because the narcissist is a child, the narcissist suffers from what is known as arrested emotional development.

Here’s the thing though, I think most child victims of narcissistic parents do suffer from this too. I know I do and have read sever article from other adults who are simple unable to function well in the real world:

Can’t get or keep a job

Can’t live independently

Always looking to be taken care of by others/ Acting weak/ shrinking

Can’t take initiative in anything

Constantly wanting praise and validation fro their works

Love thrills and gets bored easily

Become overwhelmed by the needs of others (spouse or friend falls sick, gets into an accident needs emotional support)

On the outside, like me, they look very presentable and mature. Upon first view, I believe people see me as someone is is mature and wise beyond her years. However, as time passes, they begin so see how child-like I am and I get so offended when they begin to treat me like one. It is only recently; I began to learn not to pour too much blame on people but begin to really examine the root of this mess. Well, here’s what I found:

  1. I cannot take initiative anywhere I am because I was taught that everything I do is wrong. My parents go behind my back to sabotage it. I was also made fun of for any attempt I tried. “Ugh! You’re doing it all wrong. Let me have it” “Please don’t allow firstdaughterA to do that. Last time she was given that responsibility she almost had us pay thousands of dollars” These were the scenarios I grew up with. I learnt to never put my best forward. Just listen to instructions.

So, If a person is to collapse right now in front of me, I wouldn’t do anything but will rather wait for someone to start CPR while I wait for instructions on what Items to bring and who to call. Rather watch someone die than be blamed for it. That’s the mentality.

  1. I used money to get people to be nice to me or my parents presence. My parents loved pushing me in the gutter and then saving me. I don’t know how to form a colleague to colleague relationship. I’m either above the person or below. Or I either need my parents or name. I’ve tried to stop this and create boundaries but my parents cant stand to see me go (mind you, I’m the scape goat of my family. The most neglected.)

  2. Even when I’m in a friendship with my colleague, I always act as a personal assistant or a grateful servant. Like I stated earlier, I’m only accustomed to being saved. Going wherever they go, making new friends through them, using one item or incident as the base of our friendship. I can’t connect to them any other way.

  3. My mom hated seeing me doing things my age or were mature for my age like cooking for the family, helping father at work, helping uncle, etc. because it made people happy and proud to be around me. So, she triangulated my relationship with every older adult in my life. Because of this, I lack the proper guidiance to being adult. Yes, I sure can survive and take most risks that most people can’t. But maturity and depth of an adult, I’m afraid to say, but I lack it. it’s why I come off as very mature at first.

  4. she also turned them into betraying flying monkeys and bullies. Because of this I have trust issues. Now, I hate authority figures, and can never seek comfort from them nor can I get a damned job. It’s either I act as a slave or rebel. And most people get irritated by both.

  5. My parents never treated me according to my age. They always infantilize me. Sabotaged my job so that they would be the source of my income (like a spoiled child), and as I stated earlier, they turned most adults against me and never helped me to fit in well with my peers. I feel so behind most of my peers. It’s why I’m always playing with children because we all lack the responsibilities that most adults have. Sooner or later, they wont have time for me. They’ll outgrow all this. I was never allowing to outgrow anything. I was supposed to be constantly available to everyone.

  6. I hate starting small because of the shame I have been subject to. I want to work at a large corporation, I want to be a lawyer, I want to be a neurosurgeon, I want to be this, I want to be that but can’t put in the work. Children have dreams and eventually start putting in the work but im stuck in the dream phase, constantly day dreaming that I’m in a better place but lack the motivation or the teachable spirit to move forward.

  7. I could go on and on…

It’s not that I was spoiled and prevented from being stressed out. No. My parents did not like to see me grow and focus on other things beside themselves. They intentionally offered no guidance and prevented others from helping me. Because of that I am WAS stuck at age 13.

I’m currently looking within myself and unearthing some of the core of my problems!

submitted by /u/firstdaughterA to r/raisedbynarcissists
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