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(25F with 23F) My partner has changed a lot from when we got together. I’m not sure if this is something to be worried about or just a sign of growing up.
Shelley and I got together when she was 18 and I was 20. Neither of us were very experienced with relationships (it was her first and my second). There were a number of things that attracted me to her. I liked that she was as physically and verbally affectionate as I was, that she was interested in my personality more than she was my looks, that she was passionate about animal rights and social welfare, that she had a long list of things she wanted to do together (like have a farm, travel the world, start up a bakery), that neither of us were close with our parents, that we were sexually compatible and both into BDSM, that she was always up to try new things and go on adventures with me, and that she didn’t think I was weird. I got carried away and proposed to her after a year, so we’re technically engaged.
Shortly after I proposed we moved in together and things have been kind of rocky. We’re still very much in love, but over time I’ve noticed that a lot of the things I liked about her initially aren’t true anymore, or never were true to begin with. She stopped being affectionate with me almost immediately after we moved in together, and when I told her I felt unloved she said “now that we live together I can’t treat you like I did when I didn’t see you that often” and “it’s counterproductive to my other goals to spend so much time cuddling you”. She’s put in an effort since then but she still hates PDA and being touched at all unless the circumstances are just right. She HEAVILY values physical appearance and has made comments about how she wouldn’t have dated me if I’d had a different hair color. Her values have stayed the same to a point but in a lot of ways she now seems to value things like having a clean house and making a good impression on people more. She apparently never wanted to do any of the things we talked about (she admitted to making it up because she wanted to impress me) and her ideal life is a regular 9-5 with a spotless house and watching TV in the evenings and on weekends. She reconciled with her parents and now wants to visit them every other weekend. She no longer is interested in BDSM and has told me she thinks I like it only because I’ve been abused. She never wants to do anything with me that involves leaving our apartment for more than 20 minutes unless it’s going to the gym (which I’m not interested in, but do to make her happy). She tells me very often (not maliciously) that I’m the most eccentric person she knows and she only ever said otherwise because she didn’t know me as well yet. Also, we have pushed back the wedding several times because we didn’t want to get married until we sorted out our issues. Recently she let me know that she never thought we would actually get married, that she thought I would fall out of love with her after a while, and that she only said yes to play along while it lasted. She has expressed regret that we aren’t married yet, but mostly seems embarrassed about what people think of us putting it off.
I still love her VERY much but I’m worried we just aren’t compatible. However, I also know that she tends to be the mature one in any group, and I admittedly suffer from Peter Pan syndrome. Part of me hopes that she’s just becoming a “real” adult faster than I am, and soon I’ll catch up to her and we’ll be more evenly matched. But on the other hand, I’m not sure I want that to happen - I feel like I’m giving up a lot to be with her, and we both seem to endlessly have to compromise. Is this worth a try, or no?
tl;dr partner has changed a lot since moving in together, not sure if it’s incompatibility or just a difference in maturitysubmitted by /u/jasmineandcolumbine to r/relationships
The Pentagon Papers and U.S. Imperialism in South East Asia
For discussion of the facts about Greece, and their relevant historical background, see Gabriel Kolko, The Politics of War (Random House, 1968); Joyce and Gabriel Kolko, The Limits of Power (Harper & Row, 1972). For some parallels between Greece and Vietnam, see Todd Gitlin, “Counter-insurgency: Myth and Reality in Greece,” in David Horowitz, ed., Containment and Revolution (Blond, 1967); and L. S. Stavrianos, “Greece’s Other History,” New York Review of Books, June 17, 1971. See also Richard Barnet, Intervention and Revolution (World, 1968).
This is a whole lot of information. Its not there on the internet for free. I think that the phenomenon of historical parallels are very interesting. But the closest parallel to vientam, wouldnt that be korea.submitted by /u/IEU3 to r/chomsky
Lost my faith after sex abuse allegations against Buddhist monastery (Removed from r/offmychest, r/trueoffmychest & r/rant) X-post from r/atheism
I’ve posted about the insane allegations before on another sub. I’ve recovered from the initial shock and disbelief now. This is going to sound crazy. Maybe almost unbelievable. Whatever. So the Buddhist monastery I’ve been to since young was kind of like a safe haven to me. People there seemed very kind and nice, or at least they try to seem that way. Maybe abit overly preachy and pretentious, but hey humans beings aren’t perfect right? They’re all trying their best after all. The teachings were deep and complicated. They talked about everything from reincarnation to karma to how we should always see the good in people. Sounded good and legit to me as a teenager. My parents were huge believers. Even sent my bro to be a monk when he was 10. He wanted to go too.
Now my parents are huge narcissists. Narc mom and enabler dad. Typical behaviour you see from /r/raisedbynarcissists happened often in my family. My mom always acted differently at home and when outside. She thought being a Buddhist could cleanse her dirty karma. She made herself believe she wasn’t rotten from the inside out. And of course, she loved my bro. My bro had always been the “good” kid. He could do no wrong in her eyes. He very unfortunately got cancer when he was a kid. After he recovered, he got even better treatment of course. Whenever we got to a fight, I was always in the wrong. And my mom would never fail to tell me all about his cancer history and that I was heartless for fighting with someone who had cancer. Haha. That’s funny. Her parents have the same habit of being biased towards sons vs daughters anyway. No surprises there huh. I craved for love and got myself into a bad relationship with a cheating lying bastard. It ended with an abortion. You could see the way she looked at me afterwards. She told my brother too. They believed I would go to hell. She had always known.
Anyway, back to the monastery. So I’ve been learning for over a decade at this monastery until the allegations happened. A few senior monks left and exposed everything online. They made plenty of headlines in local news and even went on a tv show. There were allegations of sex abuse towards both young and old monks by the female teacher who heads the monastery. Apparently, she needed to sleep with at least one every night. One of the victims who left the monastery got silenced when he spoke out. He and his family was harassed and forced to sign a document voiding his previous allegations against her. She was passing off her own set of ideology as Buddhist teachings and connected to the China government. She has millions and millions of dollars from her followers and property in almost every part of the world.
The monks who exposed her don’t have much evidence against her. Only whose words against who. The victim is too afraid to speak out. They only have a voice recording of him talking about what she did to him but it’s now apparently invalid. I don’t know their local law as it did not happen in my country.
I don’t know why but I believe the allegations. A female teacher living together with and leading a group of monks is just ridiculous. She could have lived with the nuns but no. She is also very mysterious about her whereabouts. Only a few people know where she is. Oh, and did I mention she is always “sick”? Apparently, she could not come out to meet her followers because she is always unwell. Either that or she’s too busy managing the monastery. She would give a few lessons every once in a while to selected members only. They tell us it’s because of our “bad karma” that we don’t get to see our teacher. What a fucking joke now that I look at it. I was so stupid. So many people are so stupid.
The teachings would tell us that there’s no point in the real world. It’s all bad karma. That the only way out is to be ordained and then gain enlightenment. I think that is part of the reason why I’m so depressed and uninterested in anything. They are SICK. I can’t imagine what kind of life she’s been leading while we stupidly devote our TIME and MONEY to the monastery. They have supermarkets and schools under their name and devotees STUPIDLY WORK FOR THEM GETTING MINIMUM WAGE ALL THEIR LIVES. Some of them are so old. They abandon their families to work or volunteer at the boarding school with minimum wage and leaves. Yes, abandon. Just like my mom did. She would just throw 2 dollars at me for a meal while she spent almost all day at the monastery when I was 13. This happened almost everyday. Some even volunteer for free. The org is over 20 years old and that’s how long people have been getting conned for. They think they’ll go to heaven or have a better afterlife if they devote all their life to the monastery. I’m sick to my guts thinking about it.
My parents are still huge believers. No surprise. My bro left the monastery shortly after the allegations. He has since joined another monastery. His attitude when he was home temporarily was atrocious. He was aggressive, violent, bitter and distant. He only seemed to care about video games. And how to make money from teaching Buddhism with the least amount of work. I tried to talk to him and he ended up being violent with me. Didn’t fail to mention my abortion as if just because of that I had no rights to talk to him. Piece of shit. The monastery was very strict with mobile phones and internet access and just access to the outside world generally. But he seemed to just want to enjoy life while still being a monk. It’s immoral and ridiculous.
I have left the monastery and I’ll never look back. I have friends who are working there for minimum wage 6 days a week and it pains me. But I can’t help them. They won’t believe the allegations or even read about it for fear of going to hell. I don’t believe in Buddhism or karma or any religion anymore. I now believe they are just mind control tactics. That the winner is the one at the top. Almost always are they corrupted.
I’ve also decided to go no contact with my parents and bro. I’m moving out in a month or so.
I’m just ranting. End of rant.submitted by /u/jejdnjdnd to r/atheist
Everyone has a Coachella story worth sharing and for some reason I have put this off until now to write it. I never post on reddit but here is a true story of how I ended up at Coachella last year.
I am a college student in southern California and have attended Coachella the last few years but because of a study abroad semester I was not going to be able to attend. I was bummed, of course but I couldn't really complain because I was studying abroad and really had no reason to be upset. I had accepted for months that I wouldn't be able to go so it really didn't bother me as the date came closer. March 10. The morning of my 21st birthday. I woke up absolutely hungover as hell with a ton of birthday texts. Europe is 9 hours ahead of souther california so the timing was always weird with talking to friends from home.
I was half awake scrolling through my texts and see a long text from one of my good friends back home. I was too tired to read it at the time and figured I should just wait a little so I could actually appreciate what he said. A few hours go by and I actually get out of bed to finally check my phone. The first one I open is from my Friend and I still have the screen shot saved to this day. Basically the long birthday text had a main subject of "just wanted to let you know I bought a Coachella ticket weekend one with your name on it"
My only response at the time was "you actually bought me a ticket? I wish I could buy a flight home"
to which he responded "and a flight"
"Prague to palm springs"
First of all at the time i thought he was kidding but after calling him and actually confirming it I had to process what just happened. the backstory to me and my friend was he had basically lived with us in highschool and he had always been into classical 60s music. One of my birthdays I convinced him to try EDM out and brought him to tchami, and I exposed him to a new world of music. We ended up going to multiple festivals together and he claimed that, "after all that I had to be at his first coachella or it wouldn't be the same"
I was studying in europe. How the hell was I going to make it work.
Long story short one month later I hop on a plane and fly 19 hours. Prague to London. London to Phoenix. Phoenix to Palm Springs. How I ever convinced my parents it was a good idea Ill never know but next thing I knew there my friend was picking me up from the airport. Get in Wednesday night drive to the camping and move in. But the best was yet to come. I kept it a secret from every single friend from home. I was camping separately so once Everyone moved into the camspsights I came over and waked up casually to say whats up and saw all my friends try to process what had just happened. The weekend was as awesome as any coachella could be, and monday morning took an uber to the airport and was in class wednesday morning in Europe. Ill never be able to repay my friend for that weekend. Coachella is an amazing thing and Ill see all of you next april.submitted by /u/spitefulsyrup to r/Coachella
So yeah I’ve been feeling ok lately and haven’t wanted to end my life for at least 4 day. I just want all you beautiful people to know that you can feel better too, get out and meet new people, get out in the outdoors, summon up as much motivation as you can find and just get out there my friends, it’s a beautiful world, you just need to look in the right places!submitted by /u/lebatondecolle to r/depression
Like how Mercer does it in the new CR campaign, generally he does not force narrative on the players, but seeds it in the world while giving the players a direction they can chase when they choose to. Any tips on how to effectively do that?submitted by /u/PROzeKToR to r/DnD
I mean this in a few different contexts. Primarily, it seems every season the goal is clearly defined to win worlds. Alright, good to set the sights high yanno "when you shoot for the moon you land on the stars" and all that but when this doesn't work out as we plan it, the fix always seems to be a roster change. I don't have time to do the research right now but my memory tells me that we have not had the same roster for two seasons, ever.
During season 2, the rain main left TSM and we got Dyrus. During season 3, Chaox is swapped for WildTurtle. After 2013 worlds, Regi retires and Bjerg comes in and I think in the same season (maybe wrong?) OddOne retires for Amazing and Xpecial comes in for gleeb. I believe the same season Lustboy is imported. After 2014 worlds, Amazing leaves the team after worlds and Santorin joins and Dyrus retires after worlds. Then comes the more familiar time, Santorin leaves, Lust retires; in comes KaSing, DL, Sven, and Hauntzer. KaSing isn't happy here and leaves, in comes Yellowstar, who also ends up not feeling great there after Spring split and ends up leaving for BioFrost. After that season, where we looked quite strong but didn't do so well at worlds, the infamous decision to axe Sven DL and Bio comes in favor of importing G2's botlane and using rookie MY. Halfway through the season we swap MY for Grig and here we are.
My point is, people keep saying TSM lost their identity but tell me when we had one? Don't get me wrong I've been a huge TSM fan ever since Bjerg joined from Europe (coincides with when I started playing LoL) but our identity has always seemed to be grabbing whatever players look like the best the split before and perhaps filling holes (due to import roles) with rookies we believe in. I feel as if the playstyle has been constantly changing to adapt to an ever changing roster.
My central argument is that we shouldn't think about LCS like the NBA where we need a superteam or a big 3 because in basketball people have a lot more room to individually carry games; the idea of team cohesion isn't as central to success to basketball as it is in league (I recognize it plays a role, but not an equally weighted one). I truly believe individually all of our players are skilled enough. For those that say Grig is just a lane support, look at his solo a stats. This roster can do anything once they have time to figure it out so what if just this one season, we actually let them figure it out?
Don't cut anyone, send them to Korea to bootcamp (maybe even pay for LS to stay with them for a few weeks to discuss scrims) and scrim with teams going to worlds, and just give them time and take off the stress. Instead of buying new players, continue to invest in a gaming facility like TL to let players separate life from league and become happier, more mindful people.
This is what I want from Regi. What I want from the fans is to stop talking about what roster cuts we make because we've done that every season and sometimes mid season, and where has that gotten us? Just believe in this organization, believe in our players, and stick together. For one more season.
If they do this and it turns out terribly, come back to this thread and flame me; until then, support who we have and who we are and stop thinking we can cut and paste players into a world championship team.submitted by /u/PetaPetaa to r/TeamSolomid
So we have been broken up for three weeks. my upwBPD got me blocked on all platforms.
We talked and agreed we could try again in the future (~9 months from now.)
It has been three weeks since we've broken up, i've had lows but mostly i've been doing okay. I've been keeping myself occupied with work, friends and therapy, to keep her off my mind.
Thing is, she sporadically unblocks me on social media and are sending me messages. It started with her unblocking me to ask for my address so she could send my stuff. It was a very robotic conversation from both parts, then she end it with "I miss you" and blocks me again. This makes my whole world crash and burn. I know i am addicted to her, when i'm not in contact with her i'm doing okay, then she send me this which pulls me right back in and then she pushes me away again by blocking me.
Yesterday she unblocked me again, she asked me if we could drink a cup of coffee together next month. I was a skeptical at first which pissed her off. I then agree to the cup of coffee and instantly after i agree she blocks me again. This makes me go into a mental breakdown. What was her end goal with that cup of coffee? Does she want to get back together? It makes no sense at all to me. I start to obsess over her and i made a new facebook account so i could message her and ask her what it was she meant. That pissed her off even more and she blocked me again.
This sporadic messaging of affection, followed up by social media blocks really fucks me up and i dont know how to handle it. Is this traumabonding? Any advice or support is greatly appreciated.submitted by /u/ineedtoforget to r/BPDlovedones
All over the world, the methods people transact (buying and selling) have really changed. Since people can now order goods which will be delivered to their doorsteps within a few days, just a few go to stores. One of the uniqueness of ecommerce is bringing together people from different ethnic and parts of the world. Ecommerce also has the advantage of the absence of geographical barrier. Thus, irrespective of your location, you can buy any goods and have it delivered to your location. One of the issues with ecommerce however is the payment for premium service like advert on sites like Facebook (Marketing) and Google (ads). This ads extra cost making the final price of goods expensive. This is what the Apollox platform is trying to solve – making available a decentralized system that uses the blockchain model. As a result, sellers, buyers and all merchants can pay without the need for extra cost. The platform will have its own currency as well.
APOLLOX PLATFORM : Apollox is a maiden blockchain solution for the ecommerce sector. It is able to disrupt the present ecommerce system and become the preferred choice of online transactions. It also has the ability to bring new sellers who offer their goods and services to people from other part of the continent. Present marketplace will be able to move their business to the Apollox platform. This will bring about reduced price, improved customer database and wider brand recognition. Handled by the arbitration process of the ApolloX Protocol, there will be fairness and transparency on the platform. Thus, shopping on the platform will give customers a sense of protection with utmost comfort. Asides, should there be any conflict of interest between sellers and buyers, the case will be mediated by the community in a fair way. Neither the seller nor any centralized company will be allowed to interfere in the process.
BENEFITS OF APOLLOX : Market Place: The project brings a platform where people from all walks of life can make transactions. It is a decentralized market place based on the blockchain technology.Apollox protocol: With the ApolloX protocol, users, regardless of the location can have their decentralized ecommerce service set up on the blockchain.Apollox Community: The community brings together seller, buyers, merchants, manufacturers, service providers and customers from all part of the world. Community members will be able to make contribution and get rewarded for it.
APOLLOX TOKEN : ApolloX token is the token of the platform, with the symbol APXT. It will facilitate all forms of transactions on the platform. It will promote positive contribution to the community making the system safe, secure and fast. APOLLOX TEAM : The team behind ApolloX is made of individuals with understanding in mobile application, marketing, blockchain technology and business.
Without a doubt, Apollox is a sustainable project that will revolutionize the ecommerce system with the introduction of decentralization, blockchain technology and the modern technology. With this, buyers and sellers from different part of the world will be able to trade easily without the intrusion of a third party that adds unnecessary cost to the transaction fees. Project Apollox will be important to people from all continent hence, it is worth supporting.
for more information check out the links below :/u/Busariabdullahi to r/CryptocurrencyICOs
NeuronChain is the world’s first scalable blockchain with the capability to decentrally process plastic cards and achieve a cross-chain bridge between the traditional regulatory compliant fiat and the world of crypto.
Watch out for the release of our whitepaper and get it straight to your inbox when it becomes available by subscribing through this link: https://www.getdrip.com/forms/430369412/submissions/new
Visit our website here: http://neuronchain.io/submitted by /u/neuronchain to r/IcoInvestor