There is nothing similar to watching the destruction of social conceptions and realizing we are a product of nature and earth, along with the sun and moon all contributing to bring our existence to the surface of reality.
Fear of death used to destroy my hope. Almost agree that suicide is natural. But out of all my high dose trips, a one tab (unknown amount) was all it took to realize the great gift from the universe was the same human I saw in the reflection of a mirror.submitted by /u/LSDXMT to r/LSD
I’m looking to get both sometimes soon for mainly photography, but I was thinking about using them to take some videos (scenery, landscapes, nature in general, etc). All the video work would be done on a tripod (nothing too fancy, just a Vanguard 263AP tripod) to help prevent any shakiness too.
I shoot with a T6i if that helps, thanks!submitted by /u/Eccentricity- to r/videography
Ok before you judge, criticize, or insult please hear me out.
A little background of my story(it seems irrelevant but has an affect later in my story)
From the time of birth to the age of 3 I was in several foster care houses due to my parents having bad drug problems. I was adopted by my uncle and his wife which I now call my mother and father. I have been with them 13 years now! But the first 3 years of my life had some pretty detrimental impacts of me i guess. I was diagnosed with RAD (reactive attachment disorder) at age 5. Due to not being able to form those healthy bonds with anyone and forming trust. I also grew up in a religious household after my adoption. For awhile I was really Religious. I would go to school talking about what I learned the Sunday before telling all the kids about the bible. But as I got older, around 14, I started to realize that I often felt sad, or almost worthless or without meaning, more often than not. I started seeing my mood change. And I am sure some of this was due to going through changes and puberty but it kept getting worse. Eventually I started thinking about killing myself almost naturally. I didn't want to die and I still don't but I was getting tired of fighting my mind and emotions and I would just sit there and think for hours and end up with the idea that killing myself was the only way. I obviously didn't go through with it thank goodness. But this got worse and worse through the years. More and more tiring. More and more thoughts. And I was starting to go away from God. I started thinking that he was not answering my prayers and he was not helping. I was mad. I would tell my case workers and parents but they would continue to say it was just puberty. Now I of course had not gone through puberty so I didn't know if it was normal or not but I still thought something was not right. I had severe trust issues. And Really bad attachment issues. I was always afraid that people would just leave me. I never really talked to many people in hopes to avoid being abandoned. This went on for like 3 years. Then I met this girl. I will not say her name due to privacy concerns. I met her at work. I worked at a haunted attraction where I was a "zone manager" and would manage "target zombies" in the woods and get shot at night. I met this girl there. I had known of her from around school but never really talked to her. Something felt different about her. As cringe as that sounds it was true. I instantly felt I could talk to her and she could understand me. As I started talking to her more through the nights and weekends she had told me that she understands how I felt and she used to feel similar till she got help. I felt so good knowing that someone understood me. My dad is the "operation manager" at this place. So she knew my dad and my dad knew her. This is the first person I trusted and opened up to. It felt good. I started talking to her a lot outside of work. Started hanging out with her outside of work and school. Being a teenage male I started catching feelings. This is where it got bad. She had said she also has feelings. This being all new to me and my fear of abandonment i wanted her to stay so I made it sound like I was experienced and had had several relationships. Bad idea. She had explained how she has had some bad relationships and doesn't like commitment very much anymore because of it. She said that we could have all the benefits of a relationship without the "label." This confused me a lot but i did not want to loose her so I agreed. This severely messed up my emotions. I wanted that "label" but she didn't but I didn't want to loose her. Work ended. We still talked and hung out. But still every day was hard just as it had been for years but it was even harder when I had time to think and when I was not talking to her. I started relying on her as an escape. This was NOT good for my emotions and my unsolved depression. We had had an argument one night after a long day for me. I had acted out of anger not meaning to and said something (I cant even remember what) and she responded in anger. If you are still reading at this point you probably think I am asking for relationship advice. I am not. My story has a very long complicated build up to where I am today. All of this stuff with her was just over the past 5-6 months. After that argument and I had had a very long day. I was put on some anti depressants like a month before. This medicine made me much worse. I would just cut myself without meaning to sometimes just to escape the mental pain. So all the stuff that had been confusing me and tearing me down the past couple months plus the medication was driving me to a breaking point. I had planned for the following night I was going to kill myself. I told no one. I was actually very happy the next day at school. I was looking forward to a stop to all the pain. So later that night I was getting ready to go through with it. I cut deeper than I had ever before and tied the bed sheet waiting to step off. I didn't write a note or anything. But while standing on the railing something in my head gave me hope. Hope that everything would be ok. I thought of all the people that would be devastated if I were to die. My mom, my dad, my family, my friends, and I kept thinking about that one girl. I kept thinking that she would feel like it was her fault. Something told me that it was not worth it. Something told me that I had purpose. And it would get better. I now believe almost 2 months later that something was God. I stepped down. I just cried. At this point both arms were slit and needed medical attention. My parents ended up waking up and seeing me. They took me too the hospital but I was just shooken. Like when the light turns on after hours in the dark. This being an obvious suicide attempt I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital after being cleared from suicide watch at the hospital. I started thinking while in the psych hospital that it could have been God that stopped me. Several questions went through my mind. Why could I not get passed the thought of the girl thinking it was her fault. Why couldn't I stop going back to how it would affect everyone. Was God telling me something. I am not sure still. But I can say that that girl visited me in the psych hospital. It showed she cared. She wrote each of the 17 days I was gone. She had no idea where I was but still decided to write "to fill in the time I would normally talk to you and to make sure you didnt feel left out." She called my dad and he told her. When I saw her at visitation she handed me the rather large stack of hand written notes with teared eyes. It showed me that she cared. That along with my mom, dad, brothers, sister, and aunt that showed up. I was not alone. During that time I got diagnosed with severe depression and they told me that they think I have borderline personality disorder(bpd) but cant diagnose me till I am 18. I got out and continued my habit of hanging out with her and not having the "label" it wore me down again. I started talking about my problems to people more. I opened up. I could tell she was getting annoyed. Then she left. Overnight. Just gone. My fears were suddenly reality. I was abandoned in my mind. This hurt. But I still was thinking about God. And why I didn't end it all based on the thought of her. I started praying. Hours a day. I remained strong. I didn't self harm or anything. I was once again gaining faith in God. She tried to come back but I would not let her. And this is all up to this current day. I am coming to this subreddit to not only share my story but ask a few questions.
Is it possible God used her as a "roadblock" in my life to strengthen my relationship with him?
Could he have put the thought of her in my mind telling my that I need to help her. (she is not religious and doesn't like to talk about it so I always left it alone because neither was I at that point)
Does God do things like this all at once to strengthen me or test me?
I know god works in mysterious ways so that is why I am confused if that girl was supposed to be his gift of someone to trust and open up to and learn the trust skills and emotional stability needed to be contempt and enjoy living the life he has so graciously given me and kept me from attempting to stop it?
I came today because I have a strong feeling I should let her come back into my life so I could share the word and hopefully implant the ideas of God and Christianity in her? I feel like god is leading me to do this but I do not want to get hurt again. How do I know if He is really leading me to do this and it is not the devil or my desire to have someone to talk to and to love and be loved again?
Thank you for reading my story of how I have came to God Once again in my life as I go through some difficult times and hopefully get some responses and answers/guidance from you guys.
mesubmitted by /u/TGWecho to r/AskAChristian
[YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FALL UNDER A LABEL!!]
- Traditional Witch
Traditional witches are witches who have a base in the history of witchcraft and the Old Craft that came before Wicca. They take a historical (traditional) approach to their practice and often will study their ancestors or other folklore attached to witchcraft. Traditional witches want to honor the “old” ways of practicing their craft, and will often focus on working with the local history and spirits of where they are or where they’ve come from. While these witches do old history and customs in high regard, there are absolutely contemporary traditional witches practicing today.
- Gardnerian Witch
Gardnerian Wicca is a practice of Wicca that came about in the 1950s and because of Gerald Gardner, often considered to be “The Father of Wicca”, spread across the world. Those who practice Gardnerian Wicca have strong ties to nature, challenge societal norms, and have many rituals that are the foundation of their practice. In order to be a Gardnerian witch you must be initiated, members cannot initiate themselves. There is also an incredibly structured system of advancing as a witch and with your practice as you grow and learn more about your craft.
- Alexandrian Witch
Founded in the 60s by Alex and Maxine Sanders, Alexandrian Wicca is a British derivative of Wicca and witchcraft. Alexandrian Wicca has a lot of similarities to its sister Gardnerian Wicca, but also pulls elements of ceremonial magick and Qabalah as well. Alexandrian Wicca is seen as “more eclectic” and is less structured than Gardnerian Wicca. They follow the belief of “if it works, use it.” Witches still must be initiated in order to practice, and there are degrees and levels of advancement that can be achieved as a witch moves along in their practice. Their covens meet on new moons, full moons and during Sabbat festivals
- Correllian Witch
Correllian-Nativist Tradition, or Correllian Wicca, was founded in the late 20th century by Caroline High Correll. She claimed to come from a line of hereditary witches, and was a psychic, spiritual healer, and herbalist. Heavily influenced by her supposed lineage and Aradian witchcraft, she was head of the church until her death in the 1940s. Correllian Wicca was not recognized as Wicca until the 1990s, and was seen more as eclecticism and universalism. Correllian Wicca is one of the most widespread practices still in existence today.
- Sea Witch
A sea witch has strong ties to water and the ocean and uses that element often in her practice. Sea and ocean magick will often use sand, shells, driftwood, or other elements that come from that place. Sea witches feel connected to water and anciet folklore involving sirens etc.
- Kitchen Witch
Also known sometimes as a hearth witch or a home witch, kitchen witches create most of their magick in the home or in the kitchen. They are very home-based, often incredibly nurturing, and love to make their home a truly special and sacred space. Kitchen witches love to cook and brew and use herbs, sometimes gathered from their own garden. When practicing they combine their own personal and individual magical energy with essential oils, herbs, food, and everyday objects to create their spells, rituals, and magick.
- Hedge Witch
Hedge witches practice what’s known as “hedge jumping” which is venturing out of this world and into the Otherworld. Hedge witches can communicate with the spiritual world and can send messages between both worlds. Hedge witches practice astral projection as well as work with herbs and Earth based magick. But what makes them specifically a hedge witch is their ability to cross the “hedge” aka: the boundary between this world and the spirit world. It’s thought that the “flying on a broomstick” legend was a misunderstanding based on hedge witches “flying” into the siritual realm.
- Dianic Witch
Dianic witches practice the most feminist of all witchcraft practices. Followers of the Cult of Diana are all women, so no men allowed. Dianic witches worship the Goddess through all three of her aspects—Maiden, Mother, and Crone. Rituals and worship can vary, but all have feminist aspects and come from a feminist standpoint.
- Elemental Witch
Elemental witches study and practice based on the four elements: earth, air, wind, and fire. An elemental magick is work based on and honoring each element. An elemental witch may have an altar for each specific element. Elemental witches call on the elements when casting spells and performing rituals, and may even have an element that they personally identify with and work towards finding.
- Ceremonial Witch
Ceremonial witches have many practices, but ceremonies and rituals are practices that they hold in especially high regard. Ceremonial magick is worked into most of the elements of their practice. They likely work a ritual or ceremony into whatever they’re casting or trying to accomplish. Ceremonial witches often call on specific beings and spiritual entities to assist them with whatever they’re casting.
- Green Witch
Also called garden witches or forest witches, green witches are highly connected to the earth the energy that it possesses. They may have their own garden where they grow their own herbs, but they also study their area and practice with local plants and their own environment. Green witches use plants/greenery in their spells and magic and sometimes, even their cooking and in their home. Green witches are often very natural and love to be in nature and near anything “green”—plants, trees, flowers, etc. They do this to be as close to Mother Earth, and the spirit she encompasses, as possible.
- Hereditary Witch
A hereditary witch is a witch that was born into witchcraft. It is a part of their family and/or their lineage. Their magick and practice are passed down from previous generations, though they may work with their own individual practices as well or instead of their families. However, there is still choice. Hereditary witches must be born into witchcraft, but if you do not choose to practice witchcraft you won’t STILL be a hereditary witch.
- Cosmic Witch
Cosmic witches are contemporary witches who look to the cosmos, astrology, and astronomy and work those elements and celestial energy into their practice. Also called “Star Witches”, these witches often follow the planets and the alignment of the stars and base their spells and rituals on the different placements.
- Secular Witch
Secular witches still cast spells, use crystals, herbs, oils, and candles, but they don’t attach spirituality to their practice. Secular witches don’t worship a deity or higher being—their practice is entirely non-religious. They don’t believe in the power behind energy or that there is energy in their work. This isn’t to say that a secular witch CAN’T be spiritual, it’s simply that their work is not. The two are entirely separate.
- Solitary Witch
A solitary witch can be any type of witch, but they choose to practice alone rather than with a coven. This could be by choice or because they haven’t found a group to work with yet. There are also legends that solitary witches are reincarnations of witches who have been practicing for generations and at puberty, their knowledge is awakened. Since they already remember and understand the craft, their need for a coven is less than a newer witch.
- Eclectic Witch
An eclectic witch does not have one set religion, practice, tradition, or culture that they pull from. Their practice derives from many sources and, ultimately, becomes the witch’s own. They may worship a higher being, or their practice may be primarily secular, or it might be its own kind of spiritual. An eclectic witch ultimately makes their own “rules” with their practice—it is entirely unique based on the individual witch.submitted by /u/cute_creep to r/WildsageCoven
I'm a 19 year old cis girl. Naturally when I was younger my mom and especially my grandmother encouraged me to start wearing a little makeup. I think I wore some bad pencil liner for like a week in 8th grade and never did it again. I just dont usually like having stuff on my eyes as I touch them a lot. I also am not a fan of any extra attention, I'm pretty shy.
But now I'm in a relationship with a really awesome guy and we have our one year anniversary soon. I'd really like to wear some eyeliner or smth kinda cute for the date I planned but I'm too scared to ask anyone for help for fear of judgement and the fact I almost definitely couldn't sit still long enough for anything to be done for me.
Any pro tips for a shy sis? Thanks!!submitted by /u/auracollector to r/TooAfraidToAsk
Hi All, I got an ultrasound done and a HSG test which showed that there is a bilateral block in both my fallopian tubes and the chances of conceiving naturally is difficult. This condition is called hydrosalpinx, reading it in google just scares me so much I want to cry badly. Does anyone have any knowledge about it? Can this condition be cured and block can be removed through laparoscopic surgery or medicines? Or is IVF the only option for me to get pregnant. Please read this and help me.submitted by /u/Anveshaiyer to r/TryingForABaby
Not in terms of the people, but things such as the natural environment, the architecture, etc. I suspect that people who tend to find beauty in places that are run down are going to put cities in the underrated part.submitted by /u/Andrew_Korenchkin to r/AskAnAmerican
Anyone who has ever used one or even thought of using one and looked up it's learnpool should know where this going.
The "Bug" type Pinsir, learns almost no Bug moves whatsoever naturally and repeatedly learns almost nothing but a monopoly of classic cliche Fighting moves, such as Submission and Seismic toss, and probably Vital Throw as well. The list goes on and on. Why make a pokemon that learns so little moves of it's own typing and so many other type moves without STAB?
Is there a deeper reason here...or just you know..."not many great bug types in Kanto!"?submitted by /u/DavidAshleyParkerrr to r/pokemonconspiracies
I haven't jailbroken in like 5 years, so naturally I backup my phone before trying out the new 13.3 checkra1n. After installing a couple tweaks, Relocate, Xen HTML, Flame (list is in photos) Screen shows strange blurry image after springboard restart and I have no UI until powerdown. So I Defer to my backup and hey, Cydia is still there! I run checkra1n again and am able to open cydia, but shit's weird, nothing shows under my installed tab, 12 updates (in cydia) needed but errors shown when I run updates. Check the images and help if possible./u/JaysSucks to r/jailbreak
General Things to include in your Grimoire are:
*Drawings and Sketches *CORRESPONDENCES *Poetry *Stickers *Pressed Leaves and Flowers (Herbarium) *Witchy Challenges *Song Lyrics *Recipes *Quotes *Dream Journal *Photos *D. I. Y and Tutorials *Your Experience and Thoughts About Magic(k) and the World. *Write in Different Languages
Specific Things to include in your Grimoire:
Wheel of the Year - Sabbaths and Esbaths - Other Festivals (Birthday, Handfasting etc.) - What is Time? - Cycle of Life and Death - Months and Seasons - Times of the Day - Planetary Hours - Days of the Week - Different Calendars
Symbols - Basic Symbols -Physical Symbols (Book, Drilbu, Tombstone etc.) -Sigils -Magic Circles -Amulets and Talismans -Languages and Alphabets (Runes, Theban Script, Kanji, Egyptian Hieroglyphs etc.) - Magical Tools (Grimoire, Ritual Knife, Incense, Crystal Ball, Special Clothes, Dream Catchers, Cancels, Altars etc.) -Colours -Numbers and Number Systems -Sacred Geometry -Anatomy -Philosophical Texts -Spells, Incantations, Curses etc. -Architecture and Archeology (Pyramids) -Secret Languages and How to Code and Decode Them
History -Different Religions and their Mythology -Mythical Beings (Angels, Demons, Fae, Unicorns etc.) -God Pantheons -Creation Myths - The Origins of Witches and the History of Magic (From Neandertales Worshipping Nature Spirits to Pop Culture Witches). -Interesting People which inspire you (Solomon, Sycorax, Baba Wanga, Morrigan, Aleister Crowley, Scott Cunningham , Alex Sanders, Jesus idk) -Secret Societies -Lore and Legends that you like
Divination -Astrology - Cartomancy (Cards and Tarot) -Radiesthesia (Dowsing, Pendulum etc.) -Arithmancy and Numeralogy - Biorythms - Runes -I Ching - Geomancy - Palmistry -Lithomancy -Necromancy -Scrying -Feng Shui - Other Kinds of Divination ( idk man there are HUNDREDS of them so just google and you’ll find all that you need).
Nature -Astronomy -Meteorology -Natural Phenomenons and Catastrophes -Environments -The Elements -Mineralogy (Gems, Crystals, Minerals etc.) -Plants, Trees, Herbs, Spices etc. -Mycology (Mushrooms) -Drugs and Hallucinogen (Careful Please!) -Animals (Fauna) -Familiars - Other Creatures and Cryptozoology - Ghosts and Spirits and How to Communicate with Them (Ouija etc.) -Herbalism (Preparation of Herbs, Potions, Infusions, Baths, Teas, Cosmetics, Perfumes etc.) -Natural Medicine (Salves etc.) -Alternative Medicine (Acupuncture, Meditation, Bach Essences, Reiki etc.)
Other -Science and Magic(k) -Philosophy -Psychology -Neurology -Physiognomy -Parapsychology (Telekinesis, Telepathy etc.) -Diffrent Types, Practices and Traditions of Magic(k) e. g Shamanism, Kabbalah, Mysticism, Gnosticism, Wicca, Thelema, Voodou -Dreams and Lucid Dreams -Alchemy and Spagyric -Rituals -Invocations and Envocations -Astral Projection and Spirit Guides -Auras and Chakras -Taxidermy -Martial Arts (if you want to) -Your Favorite Books -Seriously Though Write Whatever You Feel Like Writingsubmitted by /u/cute_creep to r/WildsageCoven
Disclaimer if that’s allowed: A bit weird
Once upon a time, a kindly old bald man named kindly old Jepedo sat in his house. Day in and day out he sat and sat and sat all by himself, with no one, and no thing, to make his acquaintance or comfort him. One day kindly old Jepedo, lonely as he was, went to the market and purchased a block of wood to carve.
“I will take up this hobby of woodcarving,” he said. “Perhaps that can distract me from the hopeless, lonesome melancholy of everyday life, if not remedy it.”
Kindly old Jepedo took the block of wood back to his humble abode and down to the workbench in his basement. When kindly old Jepedo began to whittle on his wood, much to his surprise, it began to moan.
“Ooh… oh...” said the moaning wood.
“What is this?” kindly old Jepedo asked, drawing back in surprise. “Why, this is living wood!”
“Why, I’m not just living wood,” the wood replied. “All wood is living when it is part of a tree. I’m talking wood. I want to be a real man!”
“Why, that’s wonderful,” kindly old Jepedo marveled. “Then I shall call you Pinocchiolo, and I shall raise you as my boy.”
But Pinocchiolo did not want to be a boy, not in the least—“Why, I don’t want to be a boy, I want to be a man!”
And to that kindly old Jepedo could only say, “Why, manhood will come in time, Pinocchiolo... but there is much else to come before.”
So it came to pass that kindly old Jepedo carved Pinocchiolo into a cute little boy of a puppet, just the same as any other such doll, except for one presently small thing: Kindly old Jepedo made a slight counting or carving error, some type of error to be sure, which resulted in Pinocchiolo receiving, in addition to his two wooden legs, a third wooden log-leg. It should certainly be noted that Pinocchiolo also had a button nose and two coal eyes.
“Just look at me,” Pinocchiolo said, “I have a button nose, two coal eyes, two legs—” he gasped, full of shock and realization—“and a third wooden log-leg!”
“I apologize for my mistake,” said kindly old Jepedo. “I seem to have—”
“This is all so lovely!” Pinocchiolo said, prancing about. “I’m a man! Can you believe that?”
Kindly old Jepedo corrected him: “A boy to be sure, but you’re well on your way. You must be terribly hungry. Get some sleep.”
Kindly old Jepedo fetched a nearby cloth for a blanket and tucked Pinocchiolo in. “Goodnight, my child.”
“Goodnight, kindly old Jepedo,” Pinocchiolo replied.
Kindly old Jepedo gingerly watched Pinocchiolo as he slept, for kindly old Jepedo was kindly by nature as well as by name. He was dismayed to note that Pinocchiolo stirred.
In the morning, kindly old Jepedo woke Pinocchiolo and asked him how he slept.
“I slept quite well, kindly old Jepedo,” said Pinocchiolo, stretching and rubbing his sap-stickied eyes. As he rose, the cloth-blanket fell away from his wooden shoulders, wooden head, wooden knees, and came to rest at his wooden toes—wooden knobs, rather, as kindly old Jepedo wasn’t yet such a skilled woodcarver as to make sufficiently defined individual wooden toes.
Suddenly Pinocchiolo began to change. His exposed third wooden log-leg grew and grew and grew, out and out and out still more. It grew out three whole inches, in fact! Kindly old Jepedo noticed this, and he was filled with warmth.
“Pinocchiolo, you need not fib to me,” kindly old Jepedo said.
“Why do you think I am fibbing?” asked Pinocchiolo. “Perhaps I am telling the truth.”
But kindly old Jepedo would not be fooled. “Pinocchiolo, I know that you are fibbing because fibs create nervousness. Therefore, when you lie, your nose—I mean, your third wooden log-leg—grows out.”
“Oh ok,” said Pinocchiolo.
“And now I will have to beat it back down to size.”
And in this way it was settled.
It came to pass that one day Pinocchiolo had a fantastic idea.
“I’d like to go to school,” he said to kindly old Jepedo, “to learn to become a real man, like you.”
But kindly old Jepedo hadn’t the money for that—not even for the first schoolbook. “Pinocchiolo,” kindly old Jepedo replied, “I hadn’t the money for that—not even for the first schoolbook.”
Pinocchiolo looked downcast.
“I understand, kindly old Jepedo. I understand that I cannot go to school.”
But even as Pinocchiolo uttered these words, his third wooden log-leg grew and grew and grew, out and out and out still more. It grew out three whole inches, in fact! Kindly old Jepedo noticed this and was filled with warmth. Kindly old Jepedo suddenly rose.
“Pinocchiolo, you need not fib to me,” he said. “We will collect the money for you to receive an education and learn how to become a man.”
“Oh thank you, thank you, kindly old Jepedo!” exclaimed Pinocchiolo. “But first I will have to beat those three inches back down to size.”
And in this way it was settled.
Once that task was finished, kindly old Jepedo put his clothes on, picked Pinocchiolo up, and headed for the circus. He had an idea….
Puppet shows aren’t ordinarily the life of the party, but “Kindly Old Jepedo’s Stringless Wonder” didn’t look to be an ordinarily puppet show—a stringless puppet would surely be a treat! Advertisements for the big show were displayed all over town, and throughout all the mountains and valleys nearby.
When the day rolled around, the circus was crowded with people. Pinocchiolo was nervous, but knew that kindly old Jepedo would provide a guiding hand. Not really though, because Pinocchiolo was stringless. In any case, “Kindly Old Jepedo’s Stringless Wonder” was a spectacular success.
The following day, kindly old Jepedo gave Pinocchiolo the good news: “We have collected the money for you to receive an education and learn how to become a man.”
“Thank you, kindly old Jepedo!” Pinocchiolo exclaimed. “Now I can learn to be just like you.” Pinocchiolo embraced kindly old Jepedo. “I love you,” he said, and kindly old Jepedo of course replied, in merry and gay tune: “Pinocchiolo, I dearly love you too.”
Pinocchiolo was mortified beyond belief.
“No, kindly old Jepedo, you don’t dearly love me!” he cried out, breaking away from Jepedo’s warm embrace.
“Why yes I do,” kindly old Jepedo said, utterly confused as to how Pinocchiolo could draw such a conclusion, for he did in fact dearly love Pinocchiolo. “And look,” kindly old Jepedo noticed, filled with warmth, “Your third wooden log-leg grows now.”
Pinocchiolo looked down, and his third wooden log-leg was indeed growing and growing and growing, out and out and out still more. It grew out three whole inches, in fact, right under Pinocchiolo’s own button nose. From such a perspective, Pinocchiolo noticed for the first time, his nose almost seemed to have sprouted a wooden human penis.
“I’m afraid I will have to beat that back down to size,” said kindly old Jepedo.
“Why, this is a paradox!” exclaimed Pinocchiolo, yet at this utterance his third wooden log-leg grew and grew and grew, out and out and out and out still more. It was now seven inches long, in fact.
“That will have to be beaten down seven thirds as much now,” noted kindly old Jepedo as he eyed Pinocchiolo’s new growth. “But do not distress. This is no ‘paradox’.”
What kindly old Jepedo said only seemed to cause Pinocchiolo even more distress, for as Pinocchiolo’s coal eyes, now fixated someplace around kindly old Jepedo’s pelvic area, dilated in accordance with their subject, he shouted in utter dismay: “This cannot possibly be!”
Again Pinocchiolo’s third wooden log-leg grew and grew and grew, out and out and out and out and out and out still more. It was now thirteen inches long, in fact.
“You know what the fairy tales say,” replied kindly old Jepedo. “Anything is possible.”
For some primal reason, this climaxed poor little Pinocchiolo’s despair.
Pinocchiolo dashed out of the house on his three wooden log-legs, although mainly the third as it was so much longer than the other two. In fact Pinocchiolo was practically on a pogo stick, bouncing up and down, up and down, teetering slightly side to side and back and forth as he struggled oh-so-desperately to maintain his balance. Pinocchiolo pogoed his way out of Jepedo’s sight, out of town, over mountains and valleys and the horizon itself. He pogoed and pogoed and pogoed for three days straight straight before pausing for a rest. No sooner had he ceased his pogoing than Mrs. Woodpecker the woodpecker came fluttering down to him.
“Pinocchiolo!” chirped Mrs. Woodpecker. “Where is a lad like you pogoing, all on your lonesome?”
“I’m pogoing nowhere,” Pinocchiolo sobbed. “I only wanted to become a man, and kindly old Jepedo said he could teach me how, but this third wooden log-leg of mine just won’t stop growing—it seems to be a paradox!”
“Oh my,” replied Mrs. Woodpecker. “I believe I’ve heard of this once before. Although it was a nose—a nose that grew with each untruth. Does that, Pinocchiolo, ring a bell?”
“Absolutely,” said Pinocchiolo, “and much more than that!” He quickly added, “In a strictly metaphorical sense.”
“I see,” chirped Mrs. Woodpecker. She contemplatively licked her beak. “Perhaps I could be of some assistance.”
Pinocchiolo sprang into the air. He nearly toppled over upon coming back down to the ground. “Oh please do help me!” he exclaimed. “You must! Anything to be rid of this curse.”
At this Mrs. Woodpecker wukked. “Anything?” She shifted her gaze to Pinocchiolo’s third wooden log-leg, narrowed her eyes, and chirped five fateful words: “Let us see about that.”
As Pinocchiolo realized what he had said, his own black eyes widened. They followed the woodpecker’s gaze, looked down in tense trepidation.
Well past the point of “wooden human penis” that log-leg now seemed to be, unless one such phalange could ever be thirteen inches long and double as a pogo-stick. But still they watched, still they waited for the growth, the growth, the growth, out and out and out still more.
Under the collective gaze of Mrs. Woodpecker and himself, Pinocchiolo did begin to grow, grow, grow… he began to grow very nervous, truthfully, about his third wooden log-leg.
How long could it grow? How far would it go? Three inches more? Two?
Surely at least one. Surely a nub, at least, was due.
They held their gaze a moment more, watching the Pole of Truth, woodpecker and puppet, but there was nothing.
“Anything…” Mrs. Woodpecker cukked. “‘You must help—anything to be rid of this curse.’”
“I…” Pinocchiolo trailed off. The growth, the growth, the growth. “Surely the growth must come!” he exclaimed. “It comes with every fib.”
“Stroke it,” chirped Mrs. Woodpecker. “Perchance it just needs some coaxing, long as it already is.”
So Pinocchiolo reached out, reached down, reached out farther still with one trembling wooden hand. It only just reached the tip of that third wooden log-leg.
“Stroke it?” he asked. “You’re certain?”
So Pinocchiolo stroked. With great relief, the growth finally came: A single drip of sticky, sappy, golden dew of destiny leaked out.
But that third wooden log-leg grew no more.
“Alrighty then,” the aptly named Mrs. Woodpecker eagerly chirped. “Anything it is. I’ll help if I must.”
Out of sight, out of town, over mountains and valleys and the horizon itself, Pinocchiolo screamed his first—and last—adolescent scream.
So it was that Mrs. Woodpecker the woodpecker chipped all thirteen inches of Pinocchiolo’s third wooden log-leg down into tiny little shavings. She lived happily ever after, as did kindly old Jepedo, who, despite losing Pinocchiolo and his passion for carving wooden puppets, soon took up a slightly different hobby of making sock puppets and putting on nice shows with them for all the little boys and girls.
The Endsubmitted by /u/Gcwrite to r/shortstories
Mastery of Sleep, Life Visioning, Wildfit/Consciousness Engineering/M word with Emily Fletcher/Quest for Personal Mastery/Ferocity Quest/Duality/Creative Visualization/Spiritual Laws of money/3day life makeover/Love or Above/Unlimited Abundance/Become...
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Runerigus OT Jay 112958, Caught in a raid, 4iv, Hardy Nature
GMAX HA Alcremie OT Rin 174985, Obatined through trade on this subreddit with Insanitynippon, 5iv, Hasty Nature
GMAX Square Shiny Corviknight OT Telemachus 754095, Obtained through trade on this subreddit with Telemachus, 4iv, Calm Nature
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Eevee OT Boomer 925677, Obtained through trade on this subreddit with mblakew21, 4iv, Lonely Naturesubmitted by /u/jfrench7 to r/pokemontrades
Interested in pokemon with egg moves if applicable and competitive ability/nature. Also interested in trick room hatched shinies. Please include ivs, nature, ability, ball, asking price and rule 3. Thanks !
I'm ignoring offers unless it includes all the info, please do not offer anything other than hatched shiniessubmitted by /u/aerro955 to r/pokemontrades
I just started as an experienced hire in a B4 tax role as an A2. Not PwC, so senior promotions occur after A2, towards the end of this coming summer. As an A2, that makes me eligible for the promotion to senior, but by the time promotions roll around, I’ll only have been with my current firm (and in PA) 7 or 8 months, and so I’m curious as to what my chances of making it are?
Logically, I understand that a good chunk of that 7-8 months is to be spent learning and getting up to speed, and so I initially had no expectation to get promoted. However, I was recently going over the review process with my manager, and he mentioned that when our next review rolls around, they’d be looking at me for raises (naturally) and promotion to senior. This got me thinking about it.
The logical side of me still thinks it’s highly unlikely, but I’m curious if it even comes down to performance and whatnot, or if the senior promotion is nothing more than a reward for smiling and not fucking up royally. So, realistically, what should the expectation be going into this year? Obviously I’ll still work as best I can, but I’m very curious.submitted by /u/AccountantNotEditor to r/Accounting
not going to be dramatic or anything, but i’ve went through a lot of changes over a course of 5 years. i used to be a starting football player, high expectations from my teachers, parents and fellow classmates. i was considered a “popular” guy. i had everything going for me but i didn’t like it. i didn’t like football and i didn’t like being put on a pedestal, so i quit football and decided to be myself and pursue whatever i was passionate about. i’m fascinated with the possibilities of marijuana and how it can help the world rather than break it down. naturally i smoke too. so i quickly went from high school jock to school pothead (which i’m rather proud of) but recently i’ve felt like i’m nothing. like i’m invisible. nobody has the same interests as me. i wanna make people smile and actually make memories with people but no one seems to want anything to do with me anymore. i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i don’t bother anyone, i’ll listen to anything you need to talk about, i don’t annoy anyone. this has been weighing in on me for a while but i don’t have anyone to talk to about it because the few times i’ve tried it seemed like they just wanted to get out of the conversation. no one seems to understand how i’m feeling. i went from having everyone to having no one and it’s a incredibly hard feeling to describe.submitted by /u/gingerblunt to r/offmychest